The Island of Dr Goober

This is just a short story I wrote for a painting...

At first glance, nothing much stands out much about Dr Gertrude Goober. Her hair might make one think that shes still living in the 60’s. Her refusal to wear contacts speaks of a stubborn personality, or perhaps she just wants to look scholarly. Not that she needs it of course. Dr Goober holds 28 patents for various inventions and has written close to a dozen books on physics, memetics and mathematics. She is on the Board of Trustees of 3 Fortune 500 companies, and a handful of charity organizations. She has twice been nominated to win the Nobel Prize, and is heralded by many to be one of the brightest minds of our time.
Academic achievements aside she has attracted a storm of rumors and controversy surrounding both her inventions and choice of lifestyle. This has all prompted her to seek isolation on her own private island and if you are ever lucky enough to meet her , you might start to wonder at the connection between madness and genius.
“Its all about pattern you see” she waves her hand about vaguely around the small cafe in which we sit “There are patterns and ideas everywhere you look, and they are all competing with eachother to survive.”
I nod at her statement even though I suspect I dont grasp the full extent of her point. “Call it memes or novelty, however you look at it, its all the same thing. We may think of ourselves as the sovereign rulers of our own mental landscape but I dont think this is the case. Take religion for example. When fundamentalism takes a strong root in the human psyche, it superseeds all other priorities including self preservation. Quite a few of our ideas people will die for. Not just religion,, but freedom...truth..justice “ she pauses to take a sip of her herbal tea as her words sink in. “And thats the problem, the the patterns and ideas that survive and propogate are not necessarily the ones that are benneficial to the host. Governments and corporations for example. The ones which succeed over the others are not the ones which are best for us. The successful intitutions of government and business are the ones best equipped to survive over the others, pure and simple"
Following in the footsteps of Richard Dawkins, Dr Goober has written a number of books on the idea of memes. First put forth in 1976 by Dawkins in his book The Selfish Gene, memes are units of cultural information which spread and propegate through society like viruses. Goober readily admits her debt to the ideas of Dawkins
"Hes a genius of our day to be sure. And like he says..Many of our ideas and traditions are detrimental to us. Patterns basically follow the principles of Darwinian evolution. They exhibit qualities of variation, mutation, competition , and most importantly, replication." Its replication which seems to be at the forefront of Dr Goobers life recently.
It all becomes clear when she waves over the waiter and asks for some more water. The waiter walks over and refills Dr Goobers water. She leans toward me and whispers conspiratorially, "Dont believe her lies", and then walks quietly away. And this is where it starts to get strange. The waiter is an exact copy of Dr Goober. She is the same height, looks, and mind. She even has all the same memories. A quick examination of the area will reveal that all of the local townspeople are in fact , exact copies of Dr Goober.
Theres one running the local bar, one at the local newsstand. Theres a Dr Goober mayor in city hall, Dr Goober janitors sweeping the floor, and all the positions in between, all filled by various Dr Goobers.
This is all the result of Dr Goobers most controversial of inventions , the Quantum Phase Inhibitor.
"Yes it works on the idea of quantum superposition. " Goober explains, "You just have to make sure that youre not observing the machine while its in use" She bursts into laughter as though she just made a joke. And while an understanding of the workings employed by this machine will take a PHD in advanced theoretical physics, the effects are rather simple. It makes 2 of whatever you put in it. You put in a gourmet meal,and you get out 2 gourmet meals. You put in 1 physicist-mathematician-author-inventor, and get out 2 physicist-mathematician-author-inventors. This was in fact the first test of the machine for Dr Goober when she started making copies of herself.
“Its so hard finding time to do all the things you want to do these days” she says
“I mean when your on the Board of Trustees of 4 companies, and run a bunch of organizations, and try to write books and invent stuff, its a pretty full plate. So I figured, why spread myself so thin when I dont have to. So I made some copies of myself.”
And so she did. Leaving anti human cloning legislation in her dust, Dr Goober very quickly knocked out a dozen or so copies of herself not a one distinguishable from the other. Indeed, according to Dr Goober, its not so much making a copy of the original, but more like making 1 into 2.
This calls to mind some rather strange and slightly disturbing questions till previously posed only in science fiction stories.
“Oh we didnt always get along in the early days” she admits “We actually had quite a few personality conflicts when we first got together.” she laughs at herself “Everybody has things about themselves that they dont like. I mean I can be a real terror believe me. I know its me and me, but you try living with 11 multiples of yourself and see how long it takes for you to drive yourself totally batty”
Since then, Dr Goober using money secured from her various patents and enterprises, has purchased a small island in the tropics. Goober isle is a tropical island which one would never suspect has been populated by humans only within the last 10 years. Upon first inspection, it looks like any other tropical island with bamboo floors, and quaint coconut wood buildings. There's no shortage of palm trees and white sand beaches. The hot humid air demands attention like a spoiled child. It would be a great vacation spot for anybody, except for one thing. This island whos population is currently just over 200, consists entirely of Dr Goober. Its a whole island town of just Gertrude Goobers.
“Sure its a little strange to some people” she admits “ but Ive grown quite fond of myself actually” A glimmer of joy washes over her face as she pauses to reflect on her situation.
A glance about the town reveals Dr Goober in various roles. Some of her selves are doing the work, while some are being worked for. "Oh we take turns being master and servant" she explains
And if that sounds a little kinky, it is. While rumors about Dr Goober on the net abound, the one which most people seem afraid to even discuss, is her strange narcissistic sexuality. There have been a number of visitors to Goober isle who claim to have seen things,... fairly disturbing things they wish they hadn't. On an island with a population just over 200, one might expect that some of the inhabitants to be quite close. Even a quick look around on my own visit, reveals that some of the Dr Goobers seem disturbingly closer than they should be. Be it a pair of Goobers casually strolling down main street holding hands, or the quite intimate conversation in the back booth of the coffehouse. Indeed there was a fisherman who reported seeing what could only be described as a Dr Goober orgy on the beach. According to this fisherman, he was within a few hundred yards of the shore and noticed a whole lot of naked women engaging in various forms of sexual relations. Upon closer examination, he realized, that it was all multiples of the same individual, Dr Goober. The rumor was never verified and Dr Goober refuses comment on the subject. This is just as well perhaps as it opens up all sorts of disturbing questions, and for this reporter, is somewhere we just dont need to go.