Rocktober

I feel like I've been sent back to go without collecting my $200. All these things that were sorta working fine a year ago with my girl and my apartment are gone now. My career shriveled up a year before that. Life was really pretty good way back then. But not I must figure out what to do with myself. I said something about that back in February when I moved in here, but I've not figured it yet. Too many ideas. Too many options but not enough momentum. I'd love to move to France or Canada. Id even like to join some farming collective in Northern Cali. I'd love to live in San Francisco. I could do freelance illustration work, or I could do gallery work. I guess I've always had the problem of being indecisive. I tend to spend all day trying to figure out what to have for breakfast. FUCK!! The samurai used to say that any important decision should be made in the space of 7 breaths. I should just focus on work in general and see where that takes me. I really need a job so I can get out of here. Last week I found my oldest brother (the 40something year old virgin) spying on me through the cracks in my door. I guess he just has nothing better to do.
Im in an art show this coming weekend. Its a charity event to raise money for some scholarship fund for some girl who died who I never knew. There are some famous artists like Mark Ryden in the show. Like him , I just submitted a print. Its good PR I guess. Im probably not as excited as I should be. I was supposed to be in an art show last week as well. Sams gf Nouar had offered to put me in a gallery show she was in charge of. I spent a week working on it, and then I asked her and she said that it was overbooked and there was no room for me. I told her I had stuff in progress and she said ok well maybe. She then told me that it wasnt her call and that shed have to check with the gallery and see. I asked her a couple days later and she said she hadnt heard from them and I should just finish the art for the show. But I had the chance to do freelance work for actiongirls.com and didnt really have time to do both. So I went with actiongirls.com since she seemed flakey and unsure. Later I talked with Sam and he got all defensive of her and there was some drama.
Vach and I played some of the old star wars RPG saturday. That was good. Looking forward to more of it in the future.
Maybe my next journal should be about all my stuff breaking. In the last month my car, my i pod and my camera all broke. THe car got fixed, but my workouts just got much harder without the i pod. Need an mp3 player
Thats all for now.