Making Porn

Well its been a while since I wrote in this journal...too long. Its the start of 2009 and I still havent dismantled my christmas tree. Its a live tree in a pot of soil, but I really need to undecorate it and move it oustside into the light of day. It seems so hypocritical to me when I see all the dead trees lying out for the trashman after christmas. People are celebrating a birth by creating a death.
Dont read this if youre looking for good literature. This is just late night ramblings off the top of my head.
I finally got a job.
I now work in the adult entertainment industry. I have no shame for this. I work at actiongirls.com. Its not really porn. Theres nobody on the site having sex. Its just lots of naked girls. Its sorta like playboy except all the girls have machine guns, flamethrowers and bazookas. I dont really get it why people would pay for a membership to such a site but I guess its a nitch. I do art for them. Its way more fun and creative than what I used to do. Im soo completely glad to be out of the printing industry. I pray I never have to go back. My boss is cool and I work half my days at home. With a little luck I'll be able to pay off my student debt and credit card debt by about the middle of the year. Just in time for the global economic meltdown I figure. I really should just save my money and invest it in precious metals. But the debt has been the bane of my existance for almost a decade. And if making porn is what it takes to pay it off, then I will do it... with pride and joy.

Killing Jackie Chan

When I first met him, he was a tiny little orange thing. Just a couple weeks old. I was in college, living at home and out for a walk. He came up and meowed at me. He was all alone and without a collar, not a good sign. He seemed desperate and scared. I knew I couldn’t just take him home, we already had a bunch of cats. But he followed me insisting that I help him. I told him that if he could follow me home he could stay with me. He had a hard time keeping up with me. At 6’4”, I have a long stride and he was only a kitten. He fell behind and eventually I just picked him up and carried him the rest of the way. He seemed to know that he was safe with me. He relaxed in my arms. Now my mother is a sucker for cats. I knew that if I told her I had a stray kitty she’d tell me to get rid of it, but if she saw the stray, she’d fall under his spell. So after showing her the new kitty we agreed to ask around the neighborhood if anybody had lost him. Well we carried him down the street towards where I found him. We knocked on a few doors and asked a few people. But we had both fallen under his spell. We gave up after only a few tries, far fewer than what we had planned. So we had a new kitty and being that he was my find, I got to name him. So I named him after one of my heroes, Jackie Chan.
Jackie went missing once. He just disappeared. I got a picture of him and became a detective. I went door to door asking if anybody had seen him. The first person I asked looked at the picture and recognized him immediately, “Jackies missing?!?!”
“You mean you know him?” I asked
“Sure I know Jackie! He comes by every morning and lets me pet him and feed him”
So the next door I knock on it’s the same thing “Jackies missing ?!?!”
“You mean you know him?” I asked
“Sure I know Jackie! He comes by every day at about noon and lets me pet him and feed him”
And again on the next door it’s the same thing…”Jackies missing?!?!”
“Youe mean you know him?”
“Sure I know Jackie! He comes by every day when I get home from work and lets me
pet him and feed him”
It seems he had a little daily schedule with most of the people on the block. And even people across the street and around the corner had been blessed by occasional visits which included Jackie getting petting and feeding!
Well eventually we got a call from some kids a few blocks away. They found Jackie and fell in love with him. They had intended to keep him but the parents saw Jackies collar and our phone number on it..
Eventually I had to move out of my moms house. I had a really tough decision to make. Jackie had human friends and fans all over the neighborhood. He had a little white girlfriend nextdoor and a Siamese gal across the street. And that’s just the ones we knew about. I couldn’t tear him away from his life there, so I left him with my family. They were happy to keep him.
Its been 12 years since I found Jackie Chan. For the last year his health has been in a serious decline. Hes had digestive problems and had been loosing weight. My mother has been dutifully taking him to the vet over and over, trying all sorts of medicines and even did a daily IV drip for the poor kitty. But alas, it just hasn’t worked out. Once a very athletic and fit outdoor kitty, Jackie has lost half his body weight. Hes been looking like he just got out of kitty Auschwitz. So we had to make a tough choice. I decided that hed be better off if we sent him on his way, or as my brother put it, “murder him” It wasn’t fun but it had to be done. That was yesterday.
I don’t really believe or disbelieve in anything. But if I was a betting man, Id put money on a sort of continuation for the soul after death. Id put money on Jackie Chan being happy to see the family dog Spot who died a few years back.
A few hours after I got home from the vet, I was sitting at my computer checking emails, and I saw a cat sitting on a chair out of the corner of my eye. I thought It was one of my own 2 kitties. But when I turned to look, the cat vanished. I turned back to my computer and saw the cat out of the corner of my eye again. It was Jackie! He was just lying there cleaning himself. He looked like Jackie Chan in his prime, young and healthy. But I could only see him out of the corner of my eye. When I looked directly, he vanished. But for about 20 minutes, he was there,, no question. Im not the first person to experience this. It happens all the time, with pets and people. The departed are with us whenever we think of them. In that sense, I think we are all one all the time and nothing, not even death can take that away.

Burning Man 2008

So Im back home finally but still not unpacked. My vacation was a typical burn. There was some fun stuff and some stuff that was a little terrifying. The burn always seems to have lessons for people and thats not always fun. But Im glad I went and as always there was too much amazing stuff to even mention. The weather was fabulous. It never got hot. It was really strange. It got warm, around 80 degrees F, but never as bad as it had in previous years. There were some good solid dust storms on a couple of the days. We had whiteout conditions and they had to close the gates and people were waiting all day to get in and that sucked for them. I was lucky enough to be in an RV and that was great. We ate good food there. The art was a bit of a letdown this year, but the art cars made up for it. Seems like people were less inspired by the art theme and more inspired to make permenant additions to the playa with the mutant vehicles. The playa was messed up though. It used to be packed dried mud like a big parking lot, but its been getting all broken up and starting to look like a beach. This makes it a lot harder to traverse by bicycle and thats not good. The pyrotechnic display of the burning man was unbelievable. There was a ton of fireworks and explosions and fire, and more fireworks and more explosions and then more fireworks and it was all brilliantly balanced and timed. I mean after 10 minutes of fireworks, and then a huge fireball, the fireworks stopped and he just burned for 6 minutes you thought that the fireworks was done, but then another fireball and more fireworks for a few minutes and then hed burn for a while and there were parts of him just spitting out sparks, and then some more fireworks and then hed burn more and it was quite a display. And did I mention the lightsaber battle? There were only about a couple hundred people this year, but there was soo much enthusiasm!
So anyhow, I got back on monday and found a message on my phone from an old friend at TBWA Chiat Day. They need somebody with my skills and it looks like I might end up working over there. I went in for an interview on wednesday and it looks like a good place to work. Though I think I need to consider the broader picture of what I really want to do with myself and look into the realm of potentiality.
awee... theres a kitty on my lap so I guess I gotta stop typing...

Freedom

So Im going to leave for my vacation on Sunday. Yesterday I was pretty happy and excited about this and the bosses call me into the office and tell me I'm being laid off. The company is cutting 10% of their employees (they did that last month too) and Im one of the unlucky ones. And I must say, this kinda sucks. But Im not gonna let it ruin my vacation. When theres a void in your life, it only means that theres infinite potential. Maybe I can start doing something I was meant to do, or something I enjoy. Maybe I can make some good connections at the Burning Man Festival next week. I must say Im not the least bit surprised. Work has slowed to a crawl lately. The price of gas has affected the economy at every level. I even bet a friend at work $100 that we'd be out of work in 6 months. A couple weeks ago I made business cards. I even saw it in the bosses face a couple days ago...he didnt wanna make eye contact. I guess Im ready for the unknown but it still sucks. Anyhow, I'll be out in the desert next week so I'll be hoping for a couple sympathy messages from my beloved deviant friends when I get back. Thanks in advance.

More Synchronicity

More synchronicity and serendipity.
So Ive been gearing up for my annual excursion to the Burning Man Festival. Its always seemed like a time rife with serendipitous events and strange coincidences. Last friday was 8/8/08 and when I went to work I found that the first 5 jobs I had were all on company server 8 ( thats # 8 out of the 10 servers we use). A day or so later, I went out to breakfast with a friend. When we arrived at the place, there was another couple of people arriving at the same time. It was an elderly couple and my first instinct was to get ahead of them so we would be seated first. When I reached the door I decided to be nice and just opened the door for the couple and let them move ahead. There were a bunch of people waiting to be seated and the old guy went up the host and asked for a table for two. His name was also Chris. So I became Chris C and he was Chris W. While eating my breakfast I decided to change my attitude about the burn. I hadn't been sure if I could go and decided that Id just try to go despite all the uncertainty. Just 4 days later, I went to get some food for my coworkers. I went in and told them "Yeah I called in an order for Chris" And they told me that they had two call in orders for a Chris. We had to go by the food ordered instead of my name. The other Chris ordered most of the same stuff as I did, but he got 2 pepperoni pizzas instead of 1. So I picked up the food and headed back to work. I had to make a pitstop first. A friend of mine was making some prints of a poster for me and I promised him a case of Corona. So I stopped at the liquor store and went to pay with my ATM card. The guy behind the counter gave me a big smile and pointed to my name on the card. "Ahhh Christopher!!" he exclaimed.
"Yes??"
"I have company named Christopher!! "
"Oh??"
"Yes I purchase from previous owner. It is called Christopher Nuts!!"
"Really!?!"
"Yes, we sell nuts" He gestured over to an isle in his store. It was the only isle not filled with booze. It was instead filled with dried fruits and nuts.
So here I am getting ready for the Burning Man 08 burn and I keep seeing Chris' and 08's. Whenever I see these groupings I used to ask "What does it mean??" But I think its less about meaning and more about patterns and structure. Whatever it is, I always see it as I said, in and around the burn. Ive got about 10 days till Black Rock City opens. Its gonna be a little hectic getting ready, but I know it will be fun.

The Island of Dr Goober

This is just a short story I wrote for a painting...

At first glance, nothing much stands out much about Dr Gertrude Goober. Her hair might make one think that shes still living in the 60’s. Her refusal to wear contacts speaks of a stubborn personality, or perhaps she just wants to look scholarly. Not that she needs it of course. Dr Goober holds 28 patents for various inventions and has written close to a dozen books on physics, memetics and mathematics. She is on the Board of Trustees of 3 Fortune 500 companies, and a handful of charity organizations. She has twice been nominated to win the Nobel Prize, and is heralded by many to be one of the brightest minds of our time.
Academic achievements aside she has attracted a storm of rumors and controversy surrounding both her inventions and choice of lifestyle. This has all prompted her to seek isolation on her own private island and if you are ever lucky enough to meet her , you might start to wonder at the connection between madness and genius.
“Its all about pattern you see” she waves her hand about vaguely around the small cafe in which we sit “There are patterns and ideas everywhere you look, and they are all competing with eachother to survive.”
I nod at her statement even though I suspect I dont grasp the full extent of her point. “Call it memes or novelty, however you look at it, its all the same thing. We may think of ourselves as the sovereign rulers of our own mental landscape but I dont think this is the case. Take religion for example. When fundamentalism takes a strong root in the human psyche, it superseeds all other priorities including self preservation. Quite a few of our ideas people will die for. Not just religion,, but freedom...truth..justice “ she pauses to take a sip of her herbal tea as her words sink in. “And thats the problem, the the patterns and ideas that survive and propogate are not necessarily the ones that are benneficial to the host. Governments and corporations for example. The ones which succeed over the others are not the ones which are best for us. The successful intitutions of government and business are the ones best equipped to survive over the others, pure and simple"
Following in the footsteps of Richard Dawkins, Dr Goober has written a number of books on the idea of memes. First put forth in 1976 by Dawkins in his book The Selfish Gene, memes are units of cultural information which spread and propegate through society like viruses. Goober readily admits her debt to the ideas of Dawkins
"Hes a genius of our day to be sure. And like he says..Many of our ideas and traditions are detrimental to us. Patterns basically follow the principles of Darwinian evolution. They exhibit qualities of variation, mutation, competition , and most importantly, replication." Its replication which seems to be at the forefront of Dr Goobers life recently.
It all becomes clear when she waves over the waiter and asks for some more water. The waiter walks over and refills Dr Goobers water. She leans toward me and whispers conspiratorially, "Dont believe her lies", and then walks quietly away. And this is where it starts to get strange. The waiter is an exact copy of Dr Goober. She is the same height, looks, and mind. She even has all the same memories. A quick examination of the area will reveal that all of the local townspeople are in fact , exact copies of Dr Goober.
Theres one running the local bar, one at the local newsstand. Theres a Dr Goober mayor in city hall, Dr Goober janitors sweeping the floor, and all the positions in between, all filled by various Dr Goobers.
This is all the result of Dr Goobers most controversial of inventions , the Quantum Phase Inhibitor.
"Yes it works on the idea of quantum superposition. " Goober explains, "You just have to make sure that youre not observing the machine while its in use" She bursts into laughter as though she just made a joke. And while an understanding of the workings employed by this machine will take a PHD in advanced theoretical physics, the effects are rather simple. It makes 2 of whatever you put in it. You put in a gourmet meal,and you get out 2 gourmet meals. You put in 1 physicist-mathematician-author-inventor, and get out 2 physicist-mathematician-author-inventors. This was in fact the first test of the machine for Dr Goober when she started making copies of herself.
“Its so hard finding time to do all the things you want to do these days” she says
“I mean when your on the Board of Trustees of 4 companies, and run a bunch of organizations, and try to write books and invent stuff, its a pretty full plate. So I figured, why spread myself so thin when I dont have to. So I made some copies of myself.”
And so she did. Leaving anti human cloning legislation in her dust, Dr Goober very quickly knocked out a dozen or so copies of herself not a one distinguishable from the other. Indeed, according to Dr Goober, its not so much making a copy of the original, but more like making 1 into 2.
This calls to mind some rather strange and slightly disturbing questions till previously posed only in science fiction stories.
“Oh we didnt always get along in the early days” she admits “We actually had quite a few personality conflicts when we first got together.” she laughs at herself “Everybody has things about themselves that they dont like. I mean I can be a real terror believe me. I know its me and me, but you try living with 11 multiples of yourself and see how long it takes for you to drive yourself totally batty”
Since then, Dr Goober using money secured from her various patents and enterprises, has purchased a small island in the tropics. Goober isle is a tropical island which one would never suspect has been populated by humans only within the last 10 years. Upon first inspection, it looks like any other tropical island with bamboo floors, and quaint coconut wood buildings. There's no shortage of palm trees and white sand beaches. The hot humid air demands attention like a spoiled child. It would be a great vacation spot for anybody, except for one thing. This island whos population is currently just over 200, consists entirely of Dr Goober. Its a whole island town of just Gertrude Goobers.
“Sure its a little strange to some people” she admits “ but Ive grown quite fond of myself actually” A glimmer of joy washes over her face as she pauses to reflect on her situation.
A glance about the town reveals Dr Goober in various roles. Some of her selves are doing the work, while some are being worked for. "Oh we take turns being master and servant" she explains
And if that sounds a little kinky, it is. While rumors about Dr Goober on the net abound, the one which most people seem afraid to even discuss, is her strange narcissistic sexuality. There have been a number of visitors to Goober isle who claim to have seen things,... fairly disturbing things they wish they hadn't. On an island with a population just over 200, one might expect that some of the inhabitants to be quite close. Even a quick look around on my own visit, reveals that some of the Dr Goobers seem disturbingly closer than they should be. Be it a pair of Goobers casually strolling down main street holding hands, or the quite intimate conversation in the back booth of the coffehouse. Indeed there was a fisherman who reported seeing what could only be described as a Dr Goober orgy on the beach. According to this fisherman, he was within a few hundred yards of the shore and noticed a whole lot of naked women engaging in various forms of sexual relations. Upon closer examination, he realized, that it was all multiples of the same individual, Dr Goober. The rumor was never verified and Dr Goober refuses comment on the subject. This is just as well perhaps as it opens up all sorts of disturbing questions, and for this reporter, is somewhere we just dont need to go.

Chinese Foot Care

This is not going to be very exciting so you might not want to read it unless youre bored.
So this weekend I found myself at a chinese foot care specialist. I had gone to visit a friend, Oziris, and we were helping our chinese friend Hong celebrate his birthday. Anyhow, 4 of us ended up at a chinese foot care specialist and we all goot foot massages. It was a new experience for me. There were big comfy sofa chairs and we each sat in one and leaned back and had our feet soaked and rubbed by old chinese people. There was 1 man, and 3 girls. There was soft lighting and soothing classical chinese music. Accompanying the music was a large plasma screen tv showing scenes of death and destruction caused by the earthquake in china. It was a strange juxtaposition. The sound was off on the tv and you couldnt hear what was being said. It was a satellite station of some sort and it was just news photage of collapsed buildings, dazed, bleeding people, and corpses. There was lots of crying and hopelessness on the screen. All this, with the soft soothing music and old chinese people rubbing our feet. The guy next to me seemed more concerned with his cellphone and his text messages than anything else. This seemed equally surreal to me as both the tv and the old chinese people rubbing our feet seemed to demand attention. I cant imagine how he was able to focus his attention on that phone, but I guess its a skill. It occured to me that it was a day of learning about chinese culture. I thought I knew quite a lot about chinese culture. But that day I learned how to do a tea smoked duck chinese style (something I saw on a cooking show), and all about chinese foot care.
The next day I undid all the good footcare by walking barefoot from my friends apartment to the beach. She lives in Venice LA and it was only a 10 minute walk. But it was enough to mess up the bottoms of my feet. That was yesterday and they still feel sore. It was however, worth it to go and stand in the ocean. I only went in a little past knee deep, but it sure felt good. Something primal about it. Makes me glad I live near an ocean.